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xs650 > > General Conversation > > I'm just saying... you know > > Once upon a time .... |
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Once upon a time ....
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jimmer 650Rider Supporter
Joined: Apr 20, 2006 Posts: 305 Location: NB, Canada
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Posted: February 25, 2009, 9:53 pm Post subject: Once upon a time .... |
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One day, long, long ago, there lived a woman who did not whine, nag, or bitch.
.......
But it was a long time ago, and it was just that one day.
The End
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tito650 Full Member
Joined: Dec 20, 2008 Posts: 200 Location: pennsylvania
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Posted: February 25, 2009, 11:20 pm Post subject: Re: Once upon a time .... |
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yep this has to be a fairy tale !
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jayel 650Rider Supporter
Joined: Apr 16, 2006 Posts: 3417 Location: SE Iowa 1974 TX650A
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Posted: February 25, 2009, 11:34 pm Post subject: Re: Once upon a time .... |
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women don't fart or belch so they have to whine and nag or they'd explode
_________________ all it takes is time and money -- Where are we going and why are we in this hand basket? |
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Barbara Full Member
Joined: Feb 17, 2008 Posts: 812 Location: Washington State
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Posted: February 26, 2009, 2:17 am Post subject: Re: Once upon a time .... |
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...........considering the source......oh, forget the source:
Bite me, Boys!!
_________________ Barb
Jaelith the XS650 with sidecar
Britney the BSA
Gemini the BSA
Baby B. the BSA
Big John the BSA
The unnamed Triumph T-140
and the 1979 XS650....with "potential"
illie the 1980 airhead BMW |
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ghostyder Full Member
Joined: Jul 05, 2007 Posts: 181 Location: northern california
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Posted: February 26, 2009, 6:01 am Post subject: Re: Once upon a time .... |
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LMAO!!
_________________ dedicated to the protection of orphans and widders, especially widders. credo quia absurdum. |
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indyjay Full Member
Joined: Feb 07, 2008 Posts: 67
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Posted: February 26, 2009, 12:15 pm Post subject: Re: Once upon a time .... |
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jayel wrote: |
women don't fart or belch so they have to whine and nag or they'd explode |
I've always wondered why that is. Mystery to many men.
I've told my wife she's the sneakiest farter in the world.
She does belch very now and then, though!
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rwreed Full Member
Joined: May 23, 2006 Posts: 123 Location: Telford, PA
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Posted: February 26, 2009, 3:46 pm Post subject: Re: Once upon a time .... |
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Wait a few years.
Or turn your hearing aid up!
Sorry Barb!
_________________ Slimbob
1977 XS 650-D |
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xs1961 650Rider Supporter
Joined: Apr 23, 2007 Posts: 1808 Location: uk
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Posted: February 26, 2009, 7:10 pm Post subject: Re: Once upon a time .... |
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..Birds fart !?.... God, not in front of me.. Its almost a pre-nuptial as far as Im concerned..very rude & unladylike.. rule 2 dont leave dirty dishes in the sink..Ill have to move them before taking a piss after a night out on the booze...
_________________ 1 running 650
2.5 bikes in bits,
no time,
gradually losing intrest... God help me...
Last edited by xs1961 on February 26, 2009, 8:50 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Barbara Full Member
Joined: Feb 17, 2008 Posts: 812 Location: Washington State
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Posted: February 26, 2009, 8:41 pm Post subject: Re: Once upon a time .... |
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Hi Guys,
We have the same internal pressure adjustment requirements as does the male of the species----we just don't make a bonding occasion out of it.......there is nothing quite so silly looking as a guy hitching up one leg so he can let rip, especially in a bar or a Mexican restaurant!
Oh, and flapping the sheet up and down will definitely *not* dissipate the chlorine.....
But we love you anyway.....
_________________ Barb
Jaelith the XS650 with sidecar
Britney the BSA
Gemini the BSA
Baby B. the BSA
Big John the BSA
The unnamed Triumph T-140
and the 1979 XS650....with "potential"
illie the 1980 airhead BMW |
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xs1961 650Rider Supporter
Joined: Apr 23, 2007 Posts: 1808 Location: uk
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Posted: February 26, 2009, 8:50 pm Post subject: Re: Once upon a time .... |
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..OMG....
_________________ 1 running 650
2.5 bikes in bits,
no time,
gradually losing intrest... God help me... |
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penn71911 Full Member
Joined: Feb 07, 2008 Posts: 282 Location: Baltimore, Md
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Posted: February 26, 2009, 9:00 pm Post subject: Re: Once upon a time .... |
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I just read the first three posts to the wifey... she was not amused
_________________ --Chris
'82 XS650 - Daily rider
'77 Honda CB750 - Recently adopted
'70 Yamaha CS3 - Saved from the junk pile... |
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xs1961 650Rider Supporter
Joined: Apr 23, 2007 Posts: 1808 Location: uk
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Posted: February 26, 2009, 9:01 pm Post subject: Re: Once upon a time .... |
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_________________ 1 running 650
2.5 bikes in bits,
no time,
gradually losing intrest... God help me... |
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indyjay Full Member
Joined: Feb 07, 2008 Posts: 67
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Posted: February 27, 2009, 8:20 am Post subject: Re: Once upon a time .... |
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Guess I'll quit flapping the sheet while she's brushing her teeth, thinking I destroyed the evidence.
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jayel 650Rider Supporter
Joined: Apr 16, 2006 Posts: 3417 Location: SE Iowa 1974 TX650A
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Posted: February 27, 2009, 11:59 am Post subject: Re: Once upon a time .... |
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and they complain about us not sharing those special moments.........
_________________ all it takes is time and money -- Where are we going and why are we in this hand basket? |
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jimmythetrucker Full Member
Joined: Mar 12, 2008 Posts: 1283
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Posted: February 27, 2009, 12:27 pm Post subject: Re: Once upon a time .... |
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My ex-wife used to gripe: "Jim! How come we never talk?"
I said "I'm always ready to talk to you. What do you want to talk about?"
She said "Oh, I don't know . . . just stuff."
And now I say to the list: "Change the subject, please, or I might wreck my underwear."
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willyguzzi53 Full Member
Joined: Feb 20, 2009 Posts: 13 Location: topeka, ks
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Posted: February 27, 2009, 2:39 pm Post subject: Re: Once upon a time .... |
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I would talk to my wife more if she knew anything at all about motorcycles....
_________________ When in doubt gas it- It may not fix the problem but it will end the suspense- '08 Thruxton- '03 Speedmaster- '91 ST1100- '79 XS650- '75 R90 |
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Barbara Full Member
Joined: Feb 17, 2008 Posts: 812 Location: Washington State
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Posted: February 27, 2009, 3:48 pm Post subject: Re: Once upon a time .... |
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Hey Guys,
I just distilled a new one out of all this educational material:
What has gas but doesn't fart?
Obviously, a motorcycle!! (Well, assuming correct mixture and timing, but that much detail would spoil the line.....)
Educational opportunities abound! Onward into the fog.....eeewwwww! *Nasty* fog......
for example:
"The female fart,
Says Mandy, expounding,
Is a pert and quite saucy expression,
While the masculine snore,
With it's fumes and it's roar,
Sounds much more like Congress in session!"
andy--actually Miranda--is a friend of mine, and I wrote that--and quite a bit more--for her wedding. It was a delightfully embarrassing hit!
Back to bikes...
_________________ Barb
Jaelith the XS650 with sidecar
Britney the BSA
Gemini the BSA
Baby B. the BSA
Big John the BSA
The unnamed Triumph T-140
and the 1979 XS650....with "potential"
illie the 1980 airhead BMW |
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gordo 650Rider Supporter
Joined: Oct 09, 2008 Posts: 559 Location: CT.U.S.A.
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Posted: February 27, 2009, 7:35 pm Post subject: Re: Once upon a time .... |
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I know that when I FART in bed ,I hold the cover's down so she can get a full blast when she lift's them to get in.And me, trying not to laugh before she open's the cover's, like a bowl of Jello!!!!Snicker-snicker!
_________________ '80 G, |
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kyle1911 Full Member
Joined: Nov 10, 2008 Posts: 67 Location: East Wenatchee, Wa.
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Posted: February 27, 2009, 11:04 pm Post subject: Re: Once upon a time .... |
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Ahhh, farting... From the cradle to the grave, one of the most amusing things we do as humans. I consider myself a seasoned pro. I particularly like the "Crop duster" This involves a silent blast, with just the exact right timing, to allow it to slide through the denim of your jeans, as you approach the target... (Wife is a good choice) Now, disguise your intent with a hug, or a kiss...Hold on tight, and wait for the vapors to reach the nose of your loved one. Now it's like a Jerry Springer rodeo. Try to hold on for 8 seconds. (Not as bad as the time you told her her sister was hot, but close) For the true deviants out there, (Yeah, me), you might try this... Let a sneaker out inb your hand, then make a fist. It is amazing how long this will last. When the time is right, say "Honey, hold still you have something caught in your hair" She freezes, while her loving man removes the offending object from her hair. Unfortunately for her, you just dropped a handfull of egg-vapor in her nose. (Kinda like fuel injection). A truly depraved, and final option, if you have a strong stomach, is an oral delivery. (I have a buddy who does this, he is the sickest man I know. He is also currently getting divorced...?) Squeeze one in your hand as before, but now take a drag off your hand like a cigarette, but don't inhale, just hold in your mouth. Now, line up your prey for a "Just because I love you kiss", and let 'er rip. Let me know how this works for you, I don't have the stones to try it... Kyle
_________________ There comes a time in every man's life, when he must spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and start slittin' throats. |
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yamaman Support Staff
Joined: Jan 04, 2007 Posts: 1638 Location: Perth Western Australia
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Posted: February 28, 2009, 12:51 am Post subject: Re: Once upon a time .... |
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LMFAO ROFL and whatever other internet acronym's apply!
_________________ Its not enough to have an aim in life, you have to pull the trigger! |
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xs1961 650Rider Supporter
Joined: Apr 23, 2007 Posts: 1808 Location: uk
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Posted: February 28, 2009, 7:13 am Post subject: Re: Once upon a time .... |
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yup, ROFLMFAO too ... What a thread..How did we start off ? !
_________________ 1 running 650
2.5 bikes in bits,
no time,
gradually losing intrest... God help me... |
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oldbikenut Full Member
Joined: Feb 03, 2009 Posts: 367 Location: New Mexico
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Posted: February 28, 2009, 12:23 pm Post subject: Re: Once upon a time .... |
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willyguzzi53 wrote: |
I would talk to my wife more if she knew anything at all about motorcycles.... |
When I talk to my wife about motorcycles her face kinda looks like mine after she tells me about her day at the mall, we both just end the coversation in a blank stare .
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xsjohn Full Member
Joined: Jul 30, 2006 Posts: 5857 Location: North Carolina USSA
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Posted: February 28, 2009, 12:30 pm Post subject: Re: Once upon a time .... |
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The women think we are totally nuts.......which we are..........
Bad Joke here.....
What is a Fart to a fag..............
ating Call...............
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Barbara Full Member
Joined: Feb 17, 2008 Posts: 812 Location: Washington State
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Posted: February 28, 2009, 3:25 pm Post subject: Re: Once upon a time .... |
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Most guys aren't totally nuts, John....only half nuts, and that's the half they think with......
Touche'
_________________ Barb
Jaelith the XS650 with sidecar
Britney the BSA
Gemini the BSA
Baby B. the BSA
Big John the BSA
The unnamed Triumph T-140
and the 1979 XS650....with "potential"
illie the 1980 airhead BMW |
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Back to top |
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